I do not believe that there really is a step by step process involved in population control. In fact, I can only come up with one thing that has to come before any other step. As a stand up philosopher, as “The Matson’s” former wing commander, I watch things from the shadows. Conspiracy is good for business. Yet, that is not why I am writing this tirade.

A friend of mine was talking about the Illuminati while we were on a job site some time back. If your computer repair takes longer than you were expecting, that is the reason. Either the techs are busy discussing global conspiracies or we have stumbled onto a real one and have vanished. Of course, you may have come to a shop where the techs are more into playing Last Fantasy than cleaning the virus infection off of your hard drive.

What I could not understand is why? There is a master plan to rule the world and I cannot understand why anybody would want to do that. When you are the last player at Monopoly, what is the objective for playing on? Maybe I just get too much enjoyment out of life to want to rule over your life.

That is the first thing that any conspiracy must have. There must be a why to the conspiracy. You must go into your master plan with something that you hope to actually achieve. Only a true believer can hope to accomplish a conspiracy. Anybody else would drop the whole thing when the going gets tough and it will get tough.

You cannot just take over a population in one step. People will not all roll over and play dead if, like Girdy, you announce that you are taking over. Some people do not want to grow up and would like Uncle Girdy to do all the hard work of running their daily lives. Enough people will resist, trying to take over the world for themselves, to keep you from imposing your will on everybody. There has to be one in every crowd.

So, you have to take the long view of history. There is no winning a defensive war. Any ground that you gain in your offensive will never be returned. Continue your offensive and you will continue to gain ground. This plot works fine as long as there is nobody on the other side who believes that you are wrong enough to launch an offensive against you.

Then it is a battle of wills. Remember that I wrote that you have to be a true believer to pull off your conspiracy. Each bite of the apple has to be so small that the apple does not resist the attack. If you do not start by having a goal in mind, then you will walk off your path unless you have something to keep you on task for the duration of the conspiracy. That is why I consider having a reason to be the first step in a conspiracy.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 30th, 2007 at 12:00 am and is filed under Comics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.