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Year of Girdy
Friday, May 11th, 2007 by admiralThose of you who know me will understand how difficult it is for me to title anything the ‘year of’ and not have somebody either die or discover that he never really existed. Outside of my stand up philosophy, I do some real creative writing. That is not to say that my writing is real creative, but that it is actually creative writing. Some people actually consider my creative writing to be good. I think that it needs work.
Well, now that I have left the topic entirely, let me come back to where I should have been all along. In your finite, however still considerable wisdom, you elected the Girdy-Herman ticket to virtually every office in the land of the free and home of the brave about one year ago. I thank you and Girdy thanks you. Herman went out for pizza so we’ll have to wait for his opinion on this topic.
Since you have elected Girdy and Herman, something unprecedented has come to pass. Neither Girdy nor Herman has cut into any of your favorite television programs in order to insult your intelligence. You can safely watch “Two and a Quarter Field Mice” without fear of interruption. Every episode of “Tossed” has come into your home without interruption. In fact, you have been so protected from the outrage usually earned by your elected leaders, that I have had to tell you what Girdy and Herman have done for you.
You can expect more of the same, at the same low cost, in the coming years as long as you continue to not vote for the other guys. In fact, the State of Maryland has elected not to count any of its votes and just rubber stamp the winner of the general election. With such low voter turnout in the states that still count their votes, the Girdy-Herman ticket stands a good chance of perpetual election. It is the age of the cockroach, my friends.
Aside from the spike in the cost of a good exterminator, your life has gone comfortably with Girdy and Herman in charge of your country. We hope that we can count on your continual support. Remember, dear friends and subjects. If you throw the vermin out of office, then the vermin will be coming back to live with you.
