In the first year of the reign of the Girdy Herman ticket, Girdy would like to give a gift to his loyal supporters who have elected him to everything. Herman has been hanging around with Test Rat late into the nights and something has to be done to dispel the potential scandal. What good would it do the world to defame a ticket so popular that it won every election for every office? You do recall not voting for the Girdy Herman ticket, right?

Well Girdy has found something widely popular to throw his alleged weight behind. The beneficent Girdy had decided to add another holiday to the calendar. Let it be known throughout the land that February 9, 2007 is national conspiracy day. We’ve been conspiring to get this holiday on the calendars since we finished conspiring against Julius Caesar. What would the world be like without a good conspiracy or two dozen?

Let us use this time to remember all the small secret societies that run our everyday lives for their own amusement. It cannot be easy to constantly come up with new plans for world domination. Trust me that it takes a great deal of work to keep people misdirected into thinking that they have a voice in world events. What would happen to the world if it ever gets out that everything is run by a colony of giant roaches and an aging cocker spaniel? How do you hide an idea that is so obvious when you think about it?

So, let us thank the Men in Black for keeping us safe from the truth that we cannot handle. Here’s to hoping that we can keep affording the fuel for the black helicopters. Let the world never realize that the new world order is a poker game run in Sean’s basement when his parents are out of town. This is the kind of thing that would not be so poorly kept from you if the Raze Darcy ticket had won.

On February 9, 2007, let us light a candle for the Illuminati and hope that the Rosicrucians are finished creating new religions to talk us into. Let us further figure out why the term Rosicrucians is in my spell checking dictionary and Illuminati is not. Above all else, let us found our own secret societies so that we will not be the only people in the world who gain entry to watch the ball game and drink beer without the illusion of self importance. Remember that Girdy needs you to throw your vote away in the next election too.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 2nd, 2007 at 12:01 am and is filed under Mulligan Adventures. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.