Things have been going on while I have been not campaigning for Girdy. Dirty campaigns have been raging in many races. Politicians have been taking the voters for granted and making the same promises that they made in the last three elections. If you listen to campaign ads, it seems that getting elected means doing a better job of calling your opposition names than he does. There is more substance in a comic book than there is in a candidate’s advertisement on why you should vote for him.

I have worked very hard at keeping the Girdy/Herman ticket as clean as Herman can stand. Sure, writing in Girdy’s name on your ballot is throwing your vote away, but we are honest about it in our non-campaign. You have never heard a misleading advertisement state that it was approved by Girdy. That alone puts the Girdy/Herman ticket ahead of most political campaigns and all traffic tickets.

Most politicians feel that they do a better job campaigning by breaking into your favorite television program. Girdy’s non-campaign feels that it is better to advertise by letting you watch more of the program. If we were allowed to spend the money that we don’t have to advertise on television, then we would pay to have your favorite show not interrupted in that 30 second spot. We know that you would show your appreciation at the polls. A vote for Girdy is a vote for none of the above and who wouldn’t like that option?

We even believe that, in the future, voting machines will come standard with a Girdy/Herman option. Then it will be impossible to run unopposed. The only problem that we can foresee is that Girdy and Herman will end up being elected to every office in every state of the union. On weekends, Girdy/Herman will even have to govern smaller territories and some foreign countries. We intend to handle this problem by introducing the Raze/Darcy option which will be the same as selecting none of the below.

Thus far, Girdy has not answered any requests for debates. It is the official position of the Girdy/Herman non-campaign that real people would rather be doing real things than watching fake politicians read scripted responses to scripted questions. In many races, debates only prove that neither candidate can read a teleprompter. What the candidates are wearing is actually a more interesting discussion than the platforms on which the candidates have been told to take a stand. Being a sharp dresser, Girdy is sure to win a debate if Herman allows him to accept an invitation.

To thank the Girdy/Herman non-campaign for staying out of your way during the campaign season, we would appreciate having you write-in a vote for Girdy when you vote on November 7, 2006. Always remember that a vote for Girdy is a vote for none of the above. We expect this to be the most popular platform on election day, so please do your part and vote. There have to be worse things that you can throw your vote away on.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 6th, 2006 at 12:01 am and is filed under Mulligan Adventures. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.