As a current student at Milligan College, the setting that is parodied in the Secrets comic, I was able to enjoy participating in a ritual that has lasted for ages and will continue for ages to come.

This quasi-religious event is known to the citizens of this campus as “creeking.” But what is creeking you say? It is a mysterious and exciting event that will inevitably occur if a student gets engaged to be married while completing school.
Yet I must explain a little about the topology of Milligan College. Just like the river Styx of Mulligan College in the Secrets comics, Milligan has a “river” that is more aptly described as a creek–Buffalo Creek to be exact. Also, Milligan has roads that make a complete circle around the campus–this is important as well.

There are ten steps to this ritual, which I postulate should be considered as an art by those who undertake such measures. So, let me begin the process of describing to you how this enjoyable, intimidating ritual occurs.

First, one must get engaged while still obligated to finishing school at Milligan for one reason or another.

Second, one must be incessantly tortured by the very fact that the inevitable ritual could occur any night. Yes, I said night. Creeking must occur way after it is dark…preferably after Midnight if possible.
Roommates, Suitemates, Classmates, and Friends are required to bring up the subject of creeking enough times so that the victim is always conscious of the fact.

Third, one must plan ways to outsmart everyone else and outline measures of action in order to escape what everyone claims to be “the inevitable” (all the while knowing that they are absolutely true).

Fourth, the time must eventually come when friends, roommates, suitemates, and other random people the victim has never met gather to begin the sacred ceremony. They then figure out the best way to pounce on the victim.

Fifth, the friends take action and grab the victim, attempting to tie him up while he puts up the required fight that is necessary to prove that he is a man ready for marriage. However, the friends always win out and bind the victim with whatever is available (usually duct-tape–never leave home without it!) hands and feet.

Sixth, after loading the victim into the bed or back of a truck or van, the friends all pile in and drive the whole circle of the campus, screaming, yelling and honking their horns in announcing the occurance of this ceremony. At the end of the campus wide ride, the vehicle drives down to the creek.

Seventh, at the creek, the friends unload the bound victim and carry him down the bank and toss him in the dark, cold, and murky-looking waters. Immediately after the victim hits the water, the friends run back up into the vehicle and ride back to their dorms.

Eighth, now the victim must fend for himself and unbind himself and make the “victory trek” back up to their own dorm where they are greeted by the same friends who accurately completed the required ceremony.

Ninth, the victim gets cleaned up with a hot shower and gets warm dry clothes on while talking to the friends about how great the whole event was, and how he had “so outsmarted everyone but just decided to give myself in anyways.”

Tenth, and finally, the victim must get sick the next few days afterwards and feel the effects of the e-Coli that is likely to inhibit the murky body of water.

Now that you know about the art of creeking, if you happen to be by Milligan’s campus and hear a bunch of hollering and honking at night, please, enjoy the spirit of the ceremony. Cheer on the victim. Observe and be entertained. And if you are bold enough, get involved. It’s memory spans lifetimes, save a slice of this memory for yourself.

Charis,

This entry was posted on Monday, October 30th, 2006 at 12:01 am and is filed under Comics, Mulligan Adventures. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.