Why are athletics so much work?  Even when you achieve being chosen last for a team, you still have to get up from the comfortable bench to play the game.  I do not know whose choice that was, but I want a recount of the votes.  Everybody here is writing in Girdy; right?
    I’ve heard that video games are sedentary.  Have you ever played those things?  Let me be the first to admit that I am weird.  I do not swear [in any company.] When the CPU is overloaded so bad that I can take a leisurely lunch waiting for the response of my wired controller, I keep a civil tongue.  What I do is beat on the floor.
    It is a concrete floor.  I’m good enough with video games to have never broken my hands and left the floor in fewer than a dozen pieces.  My point is that video games are not the sedentary pleasure that I was promised.  This is good training for volleyball, where my serves are very good, but it is just too much work.
    While I write, I pace around the room.  I couldn’t handle working in Dilbert land.  The optimum keyboard for me would be mounted to a treadmill that generates enough electricity to run the house on.  My laziness has other uses.  Why do I have to get up to play something as simple as golf?
    I couldn’t bring myself to beat up that helpless little white ball.  What has that ball ever done to me?  Racing, in the air or across the ground, is just too expensive to get into with the price of gas these days.  There has got to be an athletic endeavor that I can do from the comfort of my easy chair.  I’m not as young as I used to be.
    You have to get up to get the chips.  You have to get up to change the batteries in the remote control.  You even have to get up to combat the ninja assassins bent on global domination through the use of trained mice.  And, that’s on top of all the thinking that you have to do.  Life in the modern world just takes too much energy.
    Just for once, I would like to battle the mutant hamsters eating New York from the comfort of my sofa.  So, who’s with me?  We need a new way of doing things for a new century.  There has got to be a way that we can harness the spirit of our laziness to reign supreme amongst our peers.  First one to break a sweat loses!

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