As strangeStrange: we are all strange, so it is no surprise that strange happens. as it might sound, I once had a friend who was planning to run for President. I had one friend who thought that he would wind up as President and another who actually planned to run. No doubt you find this kind of hard to believe. Really, I did have friends once.

Well, let me be honest with you. This guy was evil. He was not Archduke of Darkside evil. He was the hide the remote and change the answer key for the midterm so that only the bad students passed kind of evil. That is something that he was proud of.

If I may be permitted the honor, let me now come to the point. I would like to see a debate between the vice Presidential candidates. Joel can, when I finish getting Girdy unelected for everything, return to the bridge of Girdy’s campaign for President. Herman can continue his quest for the vice Presidency. I doubt that Herman would make a bad candidate for that office.

This will leave me free to run the campaign for ‘The Commodore.’ Generally, I do not support evil. If I was a Catholic, it is something that I would have to bring up in confession. I would not even consider voting for my candidate, which is getting to be something of a habit with me. My goal is simply to be one of the principle organizers, with a cut of the lucrative syndication rights, for the debate of the century.

Who is The Commodore’s running mate? Godzilla! Sure, he’s not an American citizen, but are you going to tell him that? This would be a debate worth watching. Imagine the ratings. Sponsors would actually line up for ad space in this debate and C-Span would have the ratings of a real channel.

Given how difficult it is to get rid of somebody with Herman’s staying power, he would soon be the only vice presidential candidate left on the stage with Godzilla. Then the real debate would begin. Boxers or briefs–try regular or extra crispy! No stupid questions please. Who needs a moderator?

I can just see it now. How many times have you had politicians forget your name after you mortgage your house for the campaign contribution? Somebody decide that taxing your health insurance to pay the bills is the same thing as cutting expenses? There would be no end to candidates for the warm up round of the debate. Pass the popcorn, please.

Then we get to the main event. Where does Herman stand on the issues? Can Godzilla explain away his checkered past? No stupid sound bites that will fill the airwaves for weeks to come. It would be all rage and power. Herman will never throw a fight. Godzilla will have to work for every point in the polls.

Unfortunately, the Presidential debates will be dull. We will not wind up with much in the White House in either case. Balance this against the appetites of both Vice Presidential candidates for pork and it might be worth it. Finally, candidates who will give the American People what they really want.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 22nd, 2006 at 11:28 am and is filed under Comics, Mulligan Adventures. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.