After 38 years on this planet, I have a question to ask. It actually did not take me 38 years to think about this. This is something that I have wanted to know for most of my time on this wet rock in space. Can I go home now?

God only knows how long it has been since I used up the last of my traveler’s checks. A planet ceases to be fun when you can no longer afford room service. Everybody knows that. It is in the guide book that they give you at the portal. I doubt that I am the only person to have actually read that book.

This has been a nice planet for most of those 38 years. You have allot of water down here and it makes for great exploration. I honestly like what you all have done with this place. The landlord is not going to be pleased with some of it, when he returns, but I have no room for such complaints. After all, I am only passing through.

1 G is not galactic standard gravity. It is nice to be on an object that moves through space without those loud, eternally vibrating, engines. I have not felt a moment’s flux vibration in any of the floor panels the whole time that I’ve been here. A unit of space is always the same length down here. You never have to worry about field asymmetry with one of these planet things that you have.

I do not mean to complain, as it is not really my concern; yet you do breathe some strangeStrange: we are all strange, so it is no surprise that strange happens. air. Why do you allow all of that static energy to build up in your atmosphere? Is something wrong with your regulator? Discharges of that magnitude have got to mean trouble for your navigational computer. No wonder this craft of yours can only go around in bent circles.

And you have these terrible leaks from your inner core. I’d have engineering look into that at once. That high temperature stuff should be held in better containment than being allowed to leak all over the surface of your planet. If you need new decks in your water reserves, let engineering build them for you. Stop the fuel leaks before more people get hurt.

I’d really like to go home now. Can somebody please give me a ride? I’m not averse to working my way home. It is just that I really want to get home again.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 18th, 2006 at 2:22 am and is filed under Comics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.