By Girdy

Okay, so Joel, the creator and sustainer of this web comic, asked me to contribute an article in support of his involuntary but willing entry into the CW Comic Awards 2005. I , on lack of principle, refused. He begged. I stated my demands. He has not responded. Needless to say, I am quite put off.
Last November, I asked you all to not vote for me in the United States presidential election. You didn’t, in record numbers. Your underwhelming support led to a nearly universal early pasting of white on the maps of TV news channels and networks, with the notable exception of Fox Sports, who was airing (dare I say erring?) a high school football game.
Clearly I would have easily carried all fifty states had there not been a minor procedural oversight by my runningmate Herman. I have now forgiven him, and he passes you his warmest regards from beneath the fridge. Also, if you would please sprinkle a cookie (with sprinkles) in the general vicinity of your trash can in memory of his cousins who have been victims of Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, Wilma, Alpha and Placebo. Fortunately, they also are cockroaches and have survived, though they were forced to relocate. Unfortunately, you apparently are not feeding them well.
Anyway, let’s get back to the topic at hand. Please refrain from distracting me again.
Because Joel will not pay me to endorse him in his campaign, nor even send me money, I have decided to take revenge. Remember, a no-vote is a vote for Girdy. Please join me in not not voting for Joel. I know this is an odd request, coming from me, as it requires effort. However, I assure you that the look of disappointment on Joel’s face as the votes pour in will more than make up for a small flare of your arthritis/carpal tunnel. We will shame him with our selfish act of sacrifice.
You can vote for Joel by sending an e-mail stating your request to vote for Joel to rom_ripper@hotmail.com. You can check out Joel’s competition, and send a proper ballot, by following the instructions under the CW Comic Awards 2005 topic in the General Discussion area of the Forum.
Thank you for your time and, once more, for your lack of support in 2004. Keep the spirit of of Girdwoodianism alive. Don’t not vote for Joel in 2005!
…Hey! That rhymed!

This entry was posted on Friday, November 18th, 2005 at 2:12 am and is filed under Comics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.