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Free Will and Avoidance of the Obvious Pun
Monday, April 18th, 2005 by joelIf you have not yet noticed it, you soon will, but life is rough. Sometimes it can be downright disappointing. You will pursue something you believe you want, and in the end you will lose it.
This sort of failure has lead the occasional person to wish someone, or something could tell them exactly how to live their life, what goals to create, and how its all going to turn out, so they can avoid the crushing despair that comes with falling flat on their face.
This ‘Guidebook’ philosophy to life has been the foundation of many religions, and more commonly, cults. Groups of people who seek to sucker folks that are just sick of thinking for themselves and being consistently wrong. These religions, or cults, say ‘Entrust all your decisions to us, and you will never have to take responsibility for yourself again. We relieve you of the burden of choice.’
This is comforting, soothing, and utterly, utterly wrong. Because people are designed to exercise free will. Our capacity to choose is what makes us human, and folks that resist the option they have to choose because of the risks involved end up never fully realizing their humanity.
What am I getting at? Simply this: kids, don’t join a cult to make arbitrary decisions for you. There is a much less expensive device that does the same thing twice the success rate. It’s called a Magic 8-Ball ™.
Here, let me demonstrate. I have a choice to make: should I take this risk?
8-Ball: Maybe
Me: Maybe? Are you sure?
8-Ball: Definitely
Me: So, what you are saying is that the answer is ‘Definitely maybe?’
8-Ball: It is certain.
Me: You suck as a method of arbitrary descision making! I would have done better flipping the quarter it cost me to purchase you from the yard sale!
8-Ball: Outlook Good
