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A
Monday, August 11th, 2003 by joel?A’ is the first letter of the English alphabet.?
Why?? Because it’s the first sound the guy who was organizing the
English alphabet could think of.? That guy, Duke Ynumond Earlsec, sat
down to organize all the sounds in the language, put his quill to his
mouth and went, “Aaaaah.”? Then, in a brilliant stroke of revelation had
his first sound.? You can actually trace his exact thought process as he
organized the sounds.? In the beginning he was just doing soft, simple
sounds with the lips and the back of the throat.? As he got near the end
he had to start getting really inventive with his tongue forming
complicated sounds like Y, Z, and Q.
All the academic work back then was done by dukes.?
Dukes and Monks.? This is because these two groups of people had the
most time on their hands, and had been educated because they had money
and because they weren’t women.? That is not to say that women didn’t do
great things back then, but whenever they did, Dukes and Monks stole
their ideas.? Because Duke Earlsec never bothered to organize his sounds
a little better, we’ve ordered our whole society after his random list.?
He should have put the vowel sounds at the beginning, starting with E,
because it is the most frequently used.? Then he should have put letters
like T, S, and R next because, as any fan of Wheel of Fortune or Hangman
could tell you, those are used quite a bit more than other consonants.?
That way the alphabet would not only be a way of organizing subjects and
topics, but also a handy little cheat-sheet for the aforementioned
games.
